Orgasm and my search for it.

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Orgasm and my search for it.

Postby Drew P » 18 Aug 2011, 21:03

I'm an L2-3 para and was injured in my mid 30's as a result of a motorbike crash. Before this I was very active in every respect and loved sex most of all. Spinal injury was a real shock and I had no idea that it would take away my sex life.
As time went by and I recovered from my fairly significant injuries I wanted to get back in the saddle but was unable to. Viagra and Cialis helped to get an erection but I felt nothing and I just couldn't really enjoy any sexual activity. I made the effort for my wife and hoped that in time that would be enough for me. It wasn't.
I fell into deep depression, primarily due to my dismal sex life and ended up on medication. This cured the depression and also totally took away my sex drive and that was actually Ok because I was at least not spending all my time feeling sorry for myself.
One day I just stopped taking the anti depressants (Dr's do not recommend this and I don't suggest you try it either it can be very dangerous). Gradually my sex drive came back and I decided to give it one more go. I can feel some temperature on my genitals so spent a few weeks playing around. I had an orgasm in my sleep not long after I got out of the spinal unit so thought maybe my mind could do that on demand but no. After a few weeks I basically gave up and wondered about how I could live the rest of my life without orgasm. It was like the search for the perfect wave but with no chance of success.
I think I accepted it, finally, but knew I would never be happy about it. Then, one day while playing around with my wife I really got my mind into gear and using mostly my imagination I had an orgasm, a proper one with ejaculation and the big rush of endorphines, the whole nine yards. I think I cried for half an hour. Now I can do this every time I have sex. I can't acheive it on my own but thats the next project.
My point is this. For me, accepting myself as I was and letting go of what may or may not happen was the key. I know I am very very lucky and my injury is not as severe as many others but your mind is a powerful thing. Belief really is everything. If you truly believe you can do it you will. Every feeling and experience is just an electrical signal in your mind, your brain is not dead so you can create those signals in your mind without any physical stimulation. Orgasm and even ejaculation are no different, if you believe you have then you have and it's not a physical thing.
When I was searching the internet to help me I found very few stories of SCI victims who managed orgasm, I think those that do orgasm stop searching and don't leave there stories for others to gain hope from. I want you to have hope. Have peace in your mind and soul then you can acheive anything.

Drew P
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Joined: 11 Nov 2010, 18:18
Location: Whangarei

Re: Orgasm and my search for it.

Postby Dean » 22 Aug 2011, 12:45

Nice one Andy, I'm a C4 with heaps of sensation I really enjoy sex but haven't had an orgasm since the accident, hope and the power of the mind is all it takes. I'm sure I will have an orgasm and ejaculate sometime soon, especially now there is a powerful vibrator designed to help one ejaculate available.
See link below for more information.

Thanks for this great post I'm sure it will generate much interest .

Keep young and beautiful
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Posts: 6
Joined: 11 Oct 2010, 13:11
Location: New Zealand

Re: Orgasm and my search for it.

Postby Badger » 23 Aug 2011, 11:01

Gnarly stuff!!

I am impressed and slightly jealous, Im a T12 with very limited sensation yet enjoy the art of sex and intimacy despite this. Maybe its just the closeness I enjoy.

Whatever it is, I have not had a good, descent orgasm (not even close to ejactulation) in the last 20years, so hearing that you have still gives great incentive.

Cheers for your post :-)
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Joined: 29 Oct 2010, 09:20
Location: New Zealand

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