Lost the urge

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Lost the urge

Postby Haydn » 23 Mar 2011, 11:21

So a bit of a back story first.

I had my accident on 12/12/09 due to wrestling, I dislocated my c4 and fractured my c5. I am able to move some upper limbs not including wrists and fingers I can also feel soft and firm pressure throughout my body, not pain or temperature. I randomly get erections but am unable to keep for long periods. So far drugs have not helped and I am yet to try the injection.

When I was in rehab one night watching a horror on the tv, I was surprised when I got a fright. I felt my muscles throughout my body jolt. I know about the 'fight or flight' mechanics of the body, I know that my body is a little confused, hence spasms, but all these are triggered by touch. Nothing touched me, purely sound and sight. This got me thinking I wonder if my body would react the same way if the trigger was imagination. Only way I could think to test it was the falling sensation when you drift off to sleep, and sure enough a month later I got jolted awake from my imagination.

The question I have is why has my sex drive gone? I can sit there and listen or watch pornography and it does nothing. I know that I'm not going to get an erection, but to feel nothing seems weird. Its not like you can control your hornyness just like your 'fight or flight' so why is one working and the other not. People say different paths but shouldn't that fall under the reaction path way?

I hope this all makes sense, if not please let me know.
Kind regards
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Location: Auckland

Re: Lost the urge

Postby Badger » 10 Apr 2011, 19:14

Hey there :-)

I had my accident about 20 years ago now and I gota ask, have you spoken to your doc about 'all' the dif forms of stuff you can try, Levetria, Viagra, etc as they come in dif level of doses, before trying the injection. I would fully recommend only taking these under doctors discretion as they can cause, problems (hyperdisreflexia and stuff like that).

As for the shock wave thing happening, thats a toughy, yet easy. Every spinal cord injury may have many similarities with a number of other SCI's (spinal cord injury), but each and every one is just like a finger print, very individual. Meaning that yes, why cant your body react when your mind (maybe on a strong sub-conscience level) feels the sudden reaction. I havent, but Im sure its possible.

As for the se drive, did that stuff turn you on before? I kinda feel that if it didnt do it before, why would it now, & if it did work before, what else have you tried? The mind is a marvelous and bloody annoying beast. Just because something 'should' work because another part of the body does, doent necessarily mean it 'will' work. Silly bodies... I knew one guy who could feel one leg, but not move it and yet couldnt feel the other leg, and was able to move it! Crazy but thats how the spine is.

Anyways, I hope this makes sense and at least some part of it is useful :-)
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Joined: 29 Oct 2010, 09:20
Location: New Zealand

Re: Lost the urge

Postby susan » 06 May 2011, 10:32

I do not have a spinal injury but I have worked alongside many people who do have spinal injuries. I would be really interested in other peoples response to Haydn’s query as it seems that that many people with spinal cord injuries struggle with.

I guess one of the questions is how do you define / feel the urge (do you only feel it in the genital area?) or is it in the mind. Are you tuning into the other ways and parts of the body where you feel sexual desire (which could be unique for you).

Mitch Tepper is the founder of sexualhealth.com and he has a spinal cord injury. He says the following “Orgasmic sex requires tuning into our sensations – in the moment – and forgetting about quad bellies, atrophy, catheters and making embarrassing sounds. It means not worrying about performing to some imagined standard. And it means forgetting what we learned in the past about what is and is not pleasurable.” (From The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disabilty by Kaufman, Silverman and Odette)
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Re: Lost the urge

Postby Jeffb334 » 20 May 2011, 23:20

There are several ways you feel the "urge". For me, porn aint one of em..... The occaisonal talented stripper will get you thinking.
As a guy who has been paralyzed since a baby, I never knew that I was having different urges than the dude next door. Or I thought they were completely different. I had no clue. Just like all people new to urges...
But I know when I had intense erotic dreams, I would orgasm despite not having yet felt the real deal.
And I know that when I was with a woman I loved, certain touches, caresses, etc. would blow my mind versus someone who I did not care about doing the exact same thing.
It really is if you let yourself believe you can, then you can. You can cum if they are rubbing your shoulder, just like (if you are reeeeeaaaaaalllly gooood) you can make them cum by flicking the inside of the back of their knee with your tongue! (Try it!!)
Orgasm is simply a level of arousal. The level to achieve it has never been mapped. Why?
Two reasons:
1) everybody is different (I knew a girl who got wet when you inhaled a smoke the proper way).
2) Any part of your body can be sexual. Even if you never thought of it before. And if any part can be sexual, any part can be orgasmic.
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Joined: 16 May 2011, 17:23
Location: MiddletownCT

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